


Dandelion

by HP_Always_THG



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: District 13 (Hunger Games), F/M, Hijacked!Gale, Mockingjay, PEENISS, POV Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Was Never Hijacked, everlark, non-hijacked!Peeta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28117674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HP_Always_THG/pseuds/HP_Always_THG
Summary: Peeta has been rescued from the Capitol.Katniss is waiting for him in District 13, and is a little more aware of her feelings.Set during Mockingjay, but Peeta is not hijacked.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	1. Waiting

I'm waiting.

Waiting for them to come back.

They're rescuing Peeta.

Gale volunteered to go to the Capitol. He did it so I could have Peeta back. He knows I'm miserable without him. Peeta, whose strong arms kept the nightmares away, who would do anything for me because he loves me.

But I had broken his heart after our first games. I told him that it was an act. I might as well have told him I did not love him back.

Do I love him? I know I care about him, I wanted him to live. I've risked my own life for his multiple times. Is that love? I care about him deeply. I want him back. I want him here with me. I want to feel his blond, wavy hair. I want to see his blue eyes alight with joy, no longer gaunt and hollow from when I saw him in the Capitol. I want to hear his voice, which always managed to soothe me when needed it. I don't know what fuels this longing. Actually, I do. I think I might love him. I'm not entirely sure, but maybe, just maybe I do.

It might not matter, though. He might be gone already. 

Peeta might be dead. He saved a lot of us in District 13 by telling us about the bombing. He saved Prim. I remember the blood. They might have beaten him to death after the broadcast ended. 

I know now that the Crazy Cat metaphor is not right. I don't know what I'd do if he were dead. I don't think I would move on if his light went out. The Capitol propos gave me a tiny shred of hope to hold onto, the hope that he would come back to me. But if the squad comes back without him or not at all, I'll know that my shred of hope will be gone. That his light has gone out for sure.

What if he does come back, though? What if he comes back, but isn't the same? What if he doesn't care about me anymore? What if he comes back and sees me for who I truly am?

He'll make it.

No he won't. He's dead.

Be optimistic. He'll come back alive.

If I have more hope, the more disappointment I will get when I find out that he's dead.

He can make it. Just focus on the knot you're tying and stop thinking about the worst scenarios.

I look down. The piece of rope Finnick gave me is tied so tightly that I can't untie it. No matter how hard I pull, it won't come loose. 

I slow down my breathing. I look to my right and see that Finnick is sitting right next to me. His jaw is clenched and he's staring at the floor. I know he must be thinking of Annie.

Annie Cresta. She's also in the Capitol. At least she knows for sure that Finnick loves her. And in her state, she knows that she loves him, too. Peeta has nothing to hold on to.

He may already know that his family is dead. His two older brothers, whose names I do not know, are gone. His father, the kind man with a warm smile that Peeta undoubtedly got his own from, is dead. His mother, the witch... she was still his mother no matter how badly she treated him. He must have felt a tiny bit of natural love for her since she raised him and birthed him. I, the only one he has left, have given him no assurance that I wanted him here with me. I pushed him away mostly. But Peeta being Peeta, he might still be fighting to get back to me.

Unless, of course, he is dead.

I'll just have to hold on to that tiny shred of hope.

I keep myself busy by making my knot bigger and even harder to untie.

Then, after what seems like hours, Haymitch runs up to me and utters two words:

"They're back."


	2. Asleep

My eyes widen.

"Peeta-" I start.

"He's been rescued, sweetheart." Haymitch cuts me off.

Peeta made it. He's here in Thirteen. I'll be able to see him again in person. Before I lost him, I had been taking him for granted. I hadn't known what I had until I lost it.

But now I can get it back.

I know who helped get him back to me. I wonder if he made it back as well, or died in the process.

"How many people-" I begin to say, but Haymitch cuts me off once again.

"Your cousin and two others from the squad made it back with Peeta, Johanna Mason, and Annie Cresta."

Finnick stands up immediately.

So Gale made it back. But so many lives were lost to get them. Only three from the squad returned from the Capitol.

Haymitch continues speaking. "Peeta is in the hospital right now sweetheart. And he's asleep."

"Asleep?" I ask.

"He'd been tortured in the Capitol. His body was so fragile after they brought him back that they had to knock him out with morphling."

"When will The Boy With The Brea- I mean Peeta be awake?"

"What did you just call him, sweetheart?" Haymitch says, smirking.

A blush creeps up my neck. I almost called him The Boy With The Bread. My own special nickname for him.

"I called him...The Boy With The Bread." I say, embarrassed.

Haymitch's devilish smirk only grows bigger. "Just wait 'til I tell him that you have a nickname for him! What'll be next? Peetie Pie? Pita Bread?"

"Haymitch! Shut up! Just tell me which hospital room he's in or I'll just have to force you to!" I shout. I want to see Peeta. I need to see Peeta.

"Okay, sweetheart! He's in room nineteen!" Haymitch puts his hands up in a way that suggests he's surrendering.

I push past Haymitch and run to the Hospital. Finnick is running behind me as fast as he can, but I'm faster.

The first person I see is Gale.

His shoulders and back are badly damaged and a doctor is carefully taking a blade out of his left arm.

He doesn't even acknowledge me, but I don't care. I need to focus on finding room nineteen.

"Finnick!" I hear a woman cry. My head whips around. It's Annie Cresta.

In less than a second, Finnick and Annie are wrapped in a tight embrace, kissing like they'll never kiss again.

Finnick and Annie are what I wish Peeta and I were. Certain that they love each other. Never doubting each other for a second. Well, that's how Peeta acts. But not me. I'm closed off and stubborn. I'm going to try opening up to him when he awakes. As I look around, I spot room fourteen, followed by room fifteen in one hallway. I start running again.

fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen...

At last, I reach room nineteen. I stop and reach out a shaky hand to grab the cold metal doorknob. I fling the door open and there I see Peeta, asleep on the hospital bed.

Peeta. His blond wavy hair is damp and matted. I can't see his eyes, because his eyelids are closed. I can barely see his long blond eyelashes. His cheeks are hollow. They must have starved him. He is less muscular than he was in the Quarter Quell, and he has scars across his back. He's wearing shorts, but I can see that he doesn't have his prosthetic on and his other leg has cuts and bruises all over it. There is one doctor in the room, but once he sees me, he leaves me to be alone with him.

Slowly and cautiously, I pick up his hand and lace my fingers through his. It is less warm than I remember. I carefully bring his hand to my lips and brush my lips against the back of his hand.

Tears well up in my eyes and no matter how much I try to fight it, they begin to fall. Every last drop of tears I shed is for Peeta. For the pain, he's endured. This was my fault. His torture was my fault. If I had just gotten to Peeta faster, maybe District Thirteen would have picked us both up. If I hadn't left Peeta, he could have come to Thirteen.

I lean down and kiss Peeta's cheek, and then my eyes close, leading me into a dreamless sleep where I can still feel Peeta's warmth beside me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I'll try to make the next one a bit longer!


	3. Awake

It's morning. I sit up and look around the room. Peeta is still sleeping next to me. I sit there for a long time, just staring at him, but a low, rumbling sound coming from my stomach tells me that I can't miss breakfast, no matter how much I want to stay with Peeta. So reluctantly, I get off the hospital bed and walk through the doorway after sticking my hair in its usual braid.

As I go through the halls, I pass a few doctors making their way to Peeta's hospital room. Prim usually works with the doctors here along with Mom, but I suspect that she's eating breakfast right now.

I make my way to the cafeteria in Thirteen, where I spot Mom and Prim lining up for their turnip mush. The kitchens currently don't have any meat because Gale and I couldn't hunt for game in light of the recent bombing.

I line up with a tray and head to the table where Mom, Prim, Annie, Finnick, and Gale are sitting. Gale looks okay, just a couple of stitches here and there. Annie looks happier than I've ever seen her, but maybe that's just because she's not in the Capitol, which is the only place I've ever seen her. Or it could be the fact that Finnick is with her, tightly gripping her hand and looking at her lovingly.

I take a seat next to Prim at the end of the table, and I hear that she's in a conversation with Gale.

"...you sure? You got out of the hospital pretty early," says Prim.

"No, I'm fine, now stop asking me questions," Gale replies jokingly.

Prim nods, and then continues to eat her turnip mush. Nobody has realized I'm here.

"Hi," I say.

Prim turns her head to look at me.

"So you've finally left the hospital? I mean, Mom and I weren't expecting you to be back that night, but we didn't think you'd be spending all morning with Peeta, too." Prim says, her eyes lit with a mischievous glint. "Just why did you spend the entire night with him, Katniss?"

Finnick finally stops staring at Annie and looks over at me. He waggles his eyebrows suggestively. I feel my cheeks heat up. Great, now I'm blushing. We didn't do anything, he was asleep. He should know that, but he probably spent the whole day yesterday making out with Annie.

"Shut it, Prim. He's on morphling so he won't be awake until-"

Today. He'll be awake today. I have to go back to the hospital right now. I want to be the first face he sees when he wakes. I want to see his expression when he wakes up and sees me waiting for him. I want him to jump out of his bed and run toward me. I want him to-

"Panem to Katniss?" Prim says, her voice snapping me out of my fantasy.

"Oh, I'm fine thanks," I reply.

Gale's lips turn up into a strained smile.

"Uh-huh."

I quickly wolf down my turnip mush to drown out the awkward silence between us. It's tasteless, and the smell is repulsive, but I have to get back to Peeta before he wakes.

As soon as I finish, I stand up. Gale ignores my sudden movement.

"Gotta go...Peeta..." I say.

Prim seems to understand, as she nods and smiles at me. She really has grown up.

I take off running in the direction of the hospital, and in five minutes, I've reached room 394. The doorknob is slightly warm, I suspect Peeta has been checked on recently.

I walk into the room and sit in the chair next to his bed.

He'll be awake any second...any second...soon I'll be able to see his beautiful blue eyes, hear his voice. Any second...

...

Hours later I am still sitting by his bed, except I have shifted as close as possible to his bed in his chair, and have been stroking his hand absent-mindedly. Doctors have been frequently coming in to see how he was doing, and when I asked, assured me that he will be waking up soon.

This time has allowed me to think about Peeta, and I have come to the conclusion that I do love him. I am one hundred percent positive that I love him. That I'm in love with him.

I move my hand and start stroking his cheek, my eyes watching his chest rise and fall steadily.

Soon, I hear grunting. At first, I think nothing of it, but when I hear another grunt, I move my gaze to Peeta's face and see his eyes slowly open.

For a moment, I feel as though time has stopped. Peeta's eyes are wide and shining with joy. He looks like he's about to sit up. His mouth is wide open but looks like it is about to be turned into a smile. Since his injuries have had time to heal, he has only a few scars left on his arms. His cheeks are rosy and his hair is smooth and wavy.

Time starts to move forward again. I stand up and before I can rush right to the edge of his bed, he has already stood up. His arms are wide open and I rush into them. His arms have their normal warm feel again, and I pull back just to see his beautiful face again. He's ecstatic. Before I can stop myself, my lips are on his.

I've missed these lips. The warm hands that are now on either side of my waist. The blue eyes that I can see are wide open. I can feel his heat and if it's even possible, pull him closer to me. His mouth moves with mine, and I can feel a thousand butterflies all start to flutter at once in my stomach. The spark I feel when our lips meet feels indescribably good. There is so much passion in this kiss, and I'm trying to convey so many messages through it. I can't live without you. I should have never left you and I never will again. I've waited so long for you and every second I saw you suffer it felt like a knife had stabbed my heart over and over. I'm so happy that you're here with me...I love you.

A loud clearing of a throat is what breaks us apart. Haymitch, Finnick, and even Annie are standing in the doorway. Mom and Prim are there too, but they are probably only here because they have to check on Peeta, they're supposed to be working right now.

Haymitch and Finnick are both smirking, whereas Annie, whose hand is still grasped in Finnick's, is just staring at the wall. Prim has the biggest smile on her face and Mom's eyes are misty; she's probably remembering something with Dad.

My face heats up with a blush and I turn to face them, smiling.

Peeta's arm slides around my waist and I lean into him.

Mom is the first to speak.

"Uh..well..I'll just leave you to be by yourselves, I can check on other patients." Mom turns around abruptly and walks out the door, with Prim on her heels. Finnick and Annie leave almost as soon as they are gone, and it's just us and Haymitch. He's still smirking, which makes me even more embarrassed. Seriously, why can we never have a moment to ourselves?

"Haymitch, if you could just leave, that would be nice..." I say.

"But I'm not nice, are I, sweetheart?" counters Haymitch.

"Go away, Haymitch, you can talk to Peeta later."

"I don't think I wi-"

"Out, Haymitch!"

Haymitch quickly turns on his heel and leaves, and I turn back to Peeta.

"Katniss?" He asks. His voice is beautiful as ever and traced with a hint of disbelief.

"It's me," I say.

His mouth breaks into a smile, but it disappears as quickly as it came.

"I still can't believe it. I thought I was going to die in there. I wanted to die in there. They told me...they told me that you were dead."

My heart breaks at his statement. Death must have been his best friend in a lonely cell in the Capitol, with no hope at all and nothing to hold on to.

I try to be optimistic, he needs that after such a depressing time in the Capitol.

"I'm not dead, and neither will you be. We can do this if we hold on to each other." I say.

"Yeah, I see that now. Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?" Peeta says.

"I think I can show you.." I reply.

Just a second before our lips meet, doctors come into the room and say that I need to leave so they can check if everything is working normally for Peeta. After some persuasion from Peeta, I leave and head back to my compartment with a huge smile plastered across my face.

Things can get better. I have hope that they can. Because now, Peeta is here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA! IT'S LONGER!


	4. Anger & Arrivals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh... this chapter will be interesting.

Just before I got into bed last night, President Coin changed my room, I'll be in the same compartment as Johanna now.

Joy.

It was the middle of the night, but Coin made me pack up my stuff and move anyway. Maybe it's just because Johanna isn't trusted on her own? When I met her in the compartment, she was cowering on one side of the room farthest from the washroom adjoining to our bedroom saying things like please make it stop and no more. The tap was on in there, so I turned it off. Johanna must have had a horrible experience with water in the Capitol.

I wasn't allowed in the hospital today. The doctors said that Peeta would be discharged from the hospital tomorrow and that they would be busy doing final checks on him all day. I've only seen Peeta once so far since he came back, and that was when he finally awoke.

I'm thinking about Peeta as I walk silently through the woods on my hunter's feet, watching with the eye of an eagle for game to come by. Gale is working on the snares, he hasn't spoken a word to me since Peeta came back to consciousness. I'm angry with him. He's supposed to be my best friend. Where did that guy go?

I'm angry at Gale. I don't know him anymore. He's turned into such a pawn of Coin that Boggs looks like a lively, fun human being when compared to him.

A doe prances into view and I shoot it without hesitation. We'll have deer meat for dinner tonight.

I finish skinning the deer and head back to the spot where Gale and I agreed to wait for each other when we hunted a while ago. Gale is already walking away. He's holding a bag full of game, which includes mostly rabbits.

As soon as I call him and he doesn't acknowledge me, my blood starts to boil. Gale is an asshole.

"What the hell Gale? What the actual hell?" I say.

Gale doesn't talk, he just fumbles with the top of the game bag.

"Speak to me, goddamnit!" I shout. "Just talk, Gale! What happened to my hunting partner, my best friend?"

I see Gale's face get red with anger. Good. He'll break any second.

"Just talk, Gale! You shithead! Why do you have to-"

"I'm jealous, Katniss, okay?!" Gale finally says. "You and Baker Boy- it makes me sick! I've been trying ever since I saw Darius tease you to tell you I wanted more than friendship. You've just been so oblivious to my feelings! And I'm not all touchy-feely like Mellark is. I'm just hurt, I'm hurt because you'd take a merchant over me! I'm hurt because of how you kissed him in the Quarter Quell like you didn't even remember that I was watching! You kissed me after that, and then you just left! You let him say you were pregnant! I thought that if I got Mellark from the Capitol, you'd stop moping and actually notice me instead of just keep giving me pity kisses! He's not good enough for you! I am! I'm the one who's been there for you the longest! I understand everything you've gone through better than him! I understand-"

He's liked me ever since Darius teased me. So he started to love me out of jealousy. Just like how I thought I loved him because I was jealous of Madge- back then I thought I was jealous that she loved him, but it was only because she was able to help him when I couldn't. My best friend. Gale is my best friend, and nothing more. But he isn't acting like my best friend. 

"You're a jealous bitch, Gale! And you do not understand what I've gone through! Who was in the arena with me? Peeta, that's who! And don't be prejudiced just because he was born with higher privileges than us! He's understanding, he's not angry all the damn time like you are! He's perfect for me because he's my opposite! You and I, we're just fire and more fire! And the only thing that comes from fire is smoke! Toxic, unhealthy smoke! Peeta understands me much better than you do! He's kind and he's caring, he keeps the nightmares away-"

"I thought you would give me a chance Katniss. You could've given me at least a chance while he was gone." Says Gale, his face still red but his gaze cast downward.

"I couldn't have! My heart belonged to him for a long time, before we were even reaped, without me noticing! I've noticed him...without knowing how I felt while blocking out any idea of a relationship." I speak more softly now. "I'm sorry, Gale...but you never stood a chance."

"I didn't, did I?" Gale says, his voice laced with defeat. In a second, all traces of that defeat are gone."I know you think that now, but when he gets bored with you, when you come crawling back to me, you'll know I was right from the beginning. It's only a matter of time, Katniss." With that, he takes off, back in the direction of Thirteen, leaving me standing with my game in his dust.

*************

I walk to the kitchens of Thirteen, anger fueling every fiber of my body.

Gale's wrong. Peeta would never ditch me, he said he'd stay with me- always. Gale is always blinded by rage, hating every single thing that had anything to do with his hardships.

He'd hated every single citizen in the Capitol, every Merchant in district 12 just because of the image they had in general. The Capitol's citizens were all evil sadists. The Merchant Quarter was full of stuck-up rich people who had no compassion at all and always had food in their stomachs. But I've learned that they are not all the same. Take Cinna, Portia, Mr. Mellark, or Peeta. They were good people, they didn't fit their image at all.

As I drop off my game, Greasy Sae looks at me strangely, probably because of my mood, and then goes back to her cooking.

I head back to my shared compartment and roll Peeta's pearl between my fingers. I hear Johanna walk up to me.

"Is that-" she starts, but I cut her off.

"The pearl from the Quarter Quell? Yeah." I look at Johanna and look at her features. Her face is sunken, her head shaved and covered in purple and green bruises, and her skin is saggy.

"You've got it really bad for him, haven't you, Brainless?"

"What did you just call me?" I ask.

"Brainless. Because you've obviously got no brain." Johanna answers.

I roll my eyes and smile. Wow, Johanna has managed to make me smile.

Haymitch comes barging into the room, out of breath.

"Sweetheart- you gotta- you gotta see this. Come on- quick."

I follow Haymitch out of the room and Johanna, muttering something about having nothing else to do, comes quickly behind me. Haymitch leads us tho the part of Thirteen where people can enter and exit, and I gasp at what I see.

There is a group of people standing there, all the faces of people I remember from Twelve. Among them, I see Delly, the lumpy girl who is probably the nicest, most optimistic person in the world. They are all covered in scratches, bruises, and some of them even have to be supported because they have horrible leg injuries. Prim is a part of the medical team helping get the severely injured onto stretchers. I hear one girl I remember seeing at school telling Prim that almost half of their group had died and that they were very lost, only making it because they found snares with animals entrapped in them.

Gale helped them. He may have saved even more lives, but he's still being horrible right now. This won't make me able to forgive Gale for the things he's said- or not said- at all.

"Katniss!" Delly cries, finally spotting me. She throws her arms around me. "Oh, I knew you'd be here! We met these women when we were lost in the woods and they told us that we should go to Thirteen. They were so amazing, they really were! Their names are Bonnie and Twill!" Delly waves her hand, indicating that she wants them- Bonnie and Twill - to come over.

Bonnie and Twill were alive. They had just not made it to Thirteen when I did. As they walk up to me in their once white, ripped Peacekeeper uniforms, they recognize me and their faces light up.

"It's the Mockingjay! She's in Thirteen! The Mockingjay!" Bonnie squeals, pointing at me.

"Hello, Bonnie, Twill," I say.

"So you guys already know each other? That's just wonderful!" says Delly. She turns to me. "If you're in Thirteen, then Peeta must be too, right?"

A strange feeling bubbles up in the pit of my stomach, and I scowl. "Why are you asking?"

"Peeta must have mentioned me!" says Delly.

"No, he did not, so tell me," I reply.

"Oh, we were friends from when we were kids!" Delly informs me.

I breathe an internal sigh of relief. "Okay."

Delly walks off back to the group and Twill offers me a nervous wave, which I return with a smile.

*************

When Johanna and I get back to the compartment, I stop her ranting about how that was a complete waste of time by telling her that it is time for dinner.

After dinner, I, with much difficulty, fall asleep on my cot. 

I'm in District Twelve's Victor's Village. The sky is a stormy grey, and I hear thunder in the distance.

I begin to walk towards my house, but there are lights on in Peeta's so I head there instead.

I knock on the door, but nobody answers. It's unlocked and I hear sounds coming from inside, not distinguishable in the thunder that is growing louder and louder. As the wind whips my face, I step inside, slowly.

I walk into the kitchen and gasp, tears forming in my eyes.

What I see is Peeta kissing Delly, with mouth open and his hands stuck up her shirt.

I begin to turn around so I can run, but I hear Peeta's voice.

"You're not good enough for me, you're a filthy Seam Rat!" Peeta pushes me outside into the rain that is now falling, the rain that is disguising my tears that are flowing down my face.

Gale walks up to me and I can hear his deep voice, saying I told you so over and over again, not blocking out the sounds of Peeta moaning Delly's name-

"WAKE UP!"

I wake with a start, beads of sweat on my face. My eyes are wide, and right now I'm staring into the eyes of Peeta.

My eyes narrow. He wants Delly, not me. I saw that. He kissed her, and Gale was saying I told you so over and over again because he was right. Peeta doesn't want me, he wants a proper merchant girl. I was just a fling.

"Go back to Delly, Peeta. I know you want her, you were kissing her and I know you want her more than me, she's your perfect match. Stupid Gale.. why does he have to be right?" I say sleepily.

Peeta's face is bewildered.

"What- Delly- didn't she die in the bombings?" Peeta asks.

He does care about her more than me.

"No, she came yesterday with a group..." I trail off. "You want her, go get her. I'm not stopping you, merchants belong with merchants more than they belong with dirty Seam Rats like me."

Peeta shakes his head. "What are you talking about, Katniss?"

"You were kissing Delly, I saw you, Gale was right, he knew you'd ditch me... it's appropriate because of the way I've been behaving towards you. I didn't even tell you... pretended it was an act.. believed me.. I'm confusing you.. you can go back to Delly now, get out of my sight." I say.

"What? Katniss, you know that for me, it's always been you. I don't know where you got the idea that Delly-"

"Get out, Peeta. You obviously want her, and if you want her, then you can have nothing to do with me. Leave now."

"Katniss-"

"Get. Out."

"But I-"

"Get out!"

"Why do you think-"

"GET OUT!" I scream. I pick up my pillow and repeatedly hit him with it. "LEAVE ME BE!" The pillow is now torn, feathers flying out and landing on Peeta's wavy blond hair. "JUST GO AWAY!"

Peeta's eyes are filled with hurt as he backs out of the room. He says one thing before shutting the door.

"It's always been you and will continue to be. I don't know what you're thinking right now, but it's not true. You have to know that I would never abandon you." Peeta closes the door and I fall onto my damaged, half-full pillow, immediately falling into a fitful sleep.


	5. Apologizing

I wake up on my messy bed, only waking up because of Johanna's endless poking.

"Get up, Brainless!"

I blink a few times to clear my foggy eyes, and then the memory of last night floods into my brain.

Oh no.

Why was I so stupid? That obviously never happened, it was a nightmare. Delly is too nice to do anything of the sort, and I know that Peeta would never leave me.

But maybe my own idiocy has driven him away.

I have to apologize, and hopefully, make it up to him.

"Johanna, what time is it?" I ask.

"It's breakfast, so get off your lazy ass and change!" Johanna answers.

I quickly change into my clothes, which lie in a pile at the foot of my bed.

I head down to the cafeteria, where many people are already seated. It's hard to spot Peeta in this sea of grey. I look all around me but have no success. With a sigh, I walk towards the short line of people still waiting for their food.

As I walk, I finally see a mop of blond hair that can only belong to Peeta. He's in a conversation with Delly and a few other merchants, smiling and laughing, but his blue eyes do not match the rest of his face. His eyes are worn and tired, hollow, and sad. This was probably the result of my stupid outburst last night. Delly is sitting across from him, glancing at Thom every few minutes from across the cafeteria.

For a moment, I see Peeta's eyes flick towards me. Then Peeta clenches his jaw, stands up abruptly, and drops off his tray, leaving the cafeteria. I quickly follow. Not wanting to cause a scene, I don't shout his name. Peeta's heavy tread makes it easy to track him, but he is moving quickly. I round the corner which Peeta has disappeared behind and see the door to a compartment close. It's his, probably.

I press my ear to the door and hear soft sobs coming out from inside. My poor Peeta. Why did he have to suffer so much? He never deserved this.

I turn the knob and find that the door is locked. Tentatively, I knock on the door, and Peeta's tear stricken face answers a few minutes later. Impulsively, I cup his face with my hands and crash my lips onto his. I pull away when I can't ignore the need for oxygen. He's still standing there, unresponsive and still as a statue, so I take the opportunity to talk.

"Peeta...last night was just me being stupid. I was stuck in my nightmare, I couldn't tell the difference between reality and dreams. It's just... ugh, I'm terrible with words... I can't sleep properly without you with me. I need you, I meant what I said in the Quarter Quell. I really meant nothing of what I said last night. I don't want you to leave." I say. "Stay with me?"

Oh, that was horrible. It makes me sound like I own him, that I'm just using him again. I really want to leave right now, but something keeps me rooted to the spot. All I can do is wait for Peeta's response.

Peeta's eyes brighten, and for a moment, just a moment, I see the old Peeta, the Peeta that hadn't gone through all the pain and suffering, the Games, the heartbreak, or anything brought on by the Capitol. I just see Peeta. He smiles before finally answering.

"Always."

"Good, because I'm always going to be near you, whether you like it or not," I say playfully.

Peeta chuckles softly, and in an instant, he wraps his arms around me and kisses me fiercely. My lips move with his easily, and the moment his tongue sweeps across the seam of my lips, I let him enter. Our tongues clash and slide against each other, and I let out a moan, making Peeta laugh into our kiss. When we finally pull away, Peeta's voice is husky.

"Just so you know, that sound you make is hot." He says, grinning. This is... strange, to say the least. It's is the dirtiest thing Peeta has ever said. I just blush and say nothing. "Did you have breakfast yet?"

The answer is no. I haven't eaten, but I'm not hungry right now. Okay, maybe I am. But that's a hunger of an entirely different kind. So I just smile and say one word.

"Yeah."

"Okay, good. I think we're supposed to be in training next, but we still have a few minutes." Peeta says. "Should we get a head start, then?" I want to say no, but Peeta intertwines his fingers with mine, making warmth shoot up my body from the place where his skin is in contact with my own, and at that moment I feel as though I can never let go.

Peeta opens the door and I lead him to the military training section, where my team is waiting for me. I haven't been here yet, I guess I had just ignored it and was let off because I was still "mentally disoriented". I'm in squad 451, and Peeta, it seems, was assigned that group too. Funnily enough, my camera crew is a part of squad 451, as are Finnick and Gale. Finnick says that the other squads have nicknamed us the "Star Squad".

Gale and I haven't spoken since yesterday, but I know that all he was saying was wrong. I watch as he sends a glare to mine and Peeta's joined hands, then looks back at Boggs, his face wiped of any anger, or any- well, any anything. I kiss Peeta's cheek and go to my spot, where Boggs is eyeing Peeta.

"Soldier Mellark, feeling fine?" asks Boggs. Peeta smiles politely.

"I'm doing well, actually, but the doctors say I shouldn't be overexerting myself for about a week or so." He replies. Peeta joins his spot in the semi-circle that we are standing in front of Boggs and Jackson. He's placed right next to Gale. Oh, great. I see Gale's cold eyes, how his pupils dilate and retract for a moment, and then go dark, his gaze focused on me. I don't like the way he's staring at me, so I divert my gaze to Peeta. I'm uncomfortable, and it must reflect on my face because Peeta is looking at me with concern.

The rest of training goes well, and I manage to avoid Gale, who is doing his best to avoid me, too.

After, Peeta and I decide to ditch the rest of the stuff we're supposed to be doing and visit Johanna. She greets us with nicknames.

"Hey brainless, you brought bread boy with you?" Johanna asks. Bread boy? That's new, she must use that for Peeta. "You had a good day, I guess?" she indicates Peeta's smiling face.

"Yeah, whatever Johanna, just shut up," I say.

"Hey, Jo." Peeta greets her.

"Hey, bread boy." She says back. Johanna looks at me, her face looking as if she were trying to explain something to a five-year-old. "He and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. Don't go all cray-cray on him because he's talking to me." She says sarcastically. "Oh, yes, I heard your little one-sided shouting match in the middle of the night." Peeta's face goes a very deep shade of red. Of course, he didn't know Johanna was in there, and he meant the words he said for me and me alone.

"Sorry, Jo, I'll just sleep in Peeta's compartment," I say. "If that's okay with you?" I turn to Peeta. He stares at me with those dazzling blue eyes.

"YES- yeah, yeah, of course, Katniss," he says, trying to play it cool. I giggle- what? Since when do I giggle? What the hell is happening?

...

Peeta and I get closer and closer as the weeks pass by. I've gotten into the habit of sleeping with only one of his t-shirts and underwear on, while he doesn't even wear a shirt to bed, just a pair of pants.

One morning Peeta and I sleep in, so we hurry to get ready, even though we barely follow our schedules anyway. Still, it feels like there's something we have to do. 

We walk out of the compartment. Peeta covers my hand with his own and we just stand there, both smiling shyly and staring at each other. A loud sound of throat clearing is what snaps me out of my trance and I see Prim. I wonder why she's not working in the hospital right now.

"I didn't mean to... interrupt anything, but Katniss, you have to see this! Katniss, come on!" Prim says, tugging on my hand.

I laugh. "Okay, Little Duck, calm down."

Prim still pulls on my hand. "But Katniss, it's really important!"

"And what is that?" I ask, intrigued.

"Katniss... Dad is alive."


	6. Dad

"Dad? He's- he's-" I say, frozen. Dad is alive. All these years, he's been alive. I'm hardly breathing.

"Yes, Dad! Now come on! It's been years! Don't you want to see him?" Prim says.

"Does Mom know?" I ask, thinking about how much she loved him.

"Yeah, but Dad hasn't noticed that we were there yet," Prim answers.

"Where is he?" I ask eagerly.

Prim gulps. "He's in the Prison, Katniss."

"What?" How could Dad be in the prison? He never did anything wrong. How could Coin not tell me? It's just like how she hid Venia, Flavius, and Octavia. Oh no. What could have happened to him? "What is Coi- is he okay?"

"Yeah, but Katniss, I need you to get Coin to free him. Just like you did your Prep team." Prim says, urgency hitting every word. "Katniss, Coin will let you do basically anything. You're the Mockingjay! Just add his freedom to the Mockingjay Deal."

"Of course, Prim. Where is she? Where is that evil, manipulative bi-" I catch my words before I swear in front of Prim. She pretends not to notice.

"Come on, Katniss!" she cries. "Peeta, you can come too. You'll finally be able to meet our dad!"

I can tell by how Peeta's hand is shaking slightly that he's nervous.

"Peeta, it'll be fine," I whisper, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Besides, I'll need your words to persuade Coin."

Peeta nods. "Of- of course, Katniss."

Prim drags us through the halls of Thirteen, down narrow and straight passages, her feet moving fast. Finally, she stops at Coin's office and knocks.

"Come in," I hear Coin say. She frowns when she sees us. "Oh. You."

"Madam President, I beg your pardon, but we got word that Katniss' father is being held here in Thirteen, in one of the Prison rooms," Peeta says. He's speaking so formally. The only other person to who he spoke like this was Snow.

"Serves him right," Coin sneers. "He tried to run away. Who knows what he was going to do? Probably rat us out to the Capitol at the first chance he got."

Dad tried to come back to us, but Coin locked him up? I can't believe it. She's just as bad as Snow.

"I'd like to add his freedom and pardon to the Mockingjay Deal," I say assertively.

"No."

"Fine! Then I'll quit." I say.

"Blackmail won't work, Soldier Everdeen. I know you're bluffing." Coin says.

"Katniss isn't bluffing." I hear Peeta say. "Let her father go or she will stop being the Mockingjay for you."

"Very well." Coin says, defeated. She gave up fairly quicker than I thought she would. I guess she really needs me as the Mockingjay. Coin presses a button and speaks into a microphone. "Guards, in accordance with the Mockingjay deal, Ashton Everdeen will be released from the prison."

"Thank you, Madam President," Peeta says, and we leave the room. Prim shows us the way to the prisons, which are quite far down. She stops at a door and opens it.

Inside I see a skinny man, dried blood staining his undergarments and the unmistakable Seam look- dark hair, olive skin, and grey eyes. My mother is standing off to the side, weeping silently. District Thirteen guards are in there as well and they unlock the handcuffs that held him there for too long, freeing him from the chains. His head is hanging down, so he hasn't noticed us, and his arms are hanging limply at his side. Tears are already beginning to prick at my eyes.

Dad's head still hangs as the guards push past us and exit the room, barely acknowledging us. I'm the first one to break the silence after I find my voice.

"D-Dad?" I ask, tentatively. It's hard for me to hold back my sobs.

He looks up and sees me. My dad. My dad, who was one of the only people I had loved so much. The person my mom loved enough to leave Prim and I behind. I don't blame her, though. I understand what it's like to lose someone you love. And of course, I would never blame my father for that. His teachings with a bow and arrow, his ventures with me into the woods are the reason I had ever dared to hunt.

"Katniss? Prim?" Dad says, disbelief and joy mixing into his voice.

"Daddy," Prim says. "Daddy, we've found you."

No words are spoken when he rushes towards Prim and I, scooping us both into a hug and holding us tight like he's never willing to let go.

"Girls! I'll never leave you again. I regretted leaving every day for the past six years. I'm so sorry. I love you so much." Dad says. After a while, he turns and looks to the side.

"Sage?" He asks. He's looking at mom.

"Ash," Mom breathes. In a moment they're kissing madly, and I can't help but feel uncomfortable. I mean, it's normal to feel uncomfortable when parents kiss, right? They probably would be uncomfortable if they saw their kid kissing somebody.

Oh yeah. I forgot that I'll have to introduce Dad to Peeta. But that can wait. I leave the room, with Prim and Peeta in tow.

*************

Hours later, we're sitting in Prim and Mom's compartment, waiting for Mom and Dad to get back. I think they might have gone to the hospital, to get Dad checked out for any injuries.

Prim leaves to check and see where Mom and Dad are. Peeta is grasping my hand, his thumb caressing it.

"Katniss, tell me about your dad," Peeta says. Peeta is so.. well, perfect. Instead of being bitter about the fact that he lost his entire family and now mine is full, which is probably what I would do, granted I were in his position, he's asking me questions about my family.

"Oh. My dad was really nice. He and I loved to sing together, whether it was just a simple lullaby or a ballad. My dad taught me how to use a bow and arrow. He loved us more than anything. Now that we know he's alive, my family will be full again." I say.

"He sounds like an amazing man. All I knew about him was that" Peeta puts on an impression of his father's voice." 'when he sings, even the birds stop to listen'. "

"I'm so sorry, Peeta," I say. "I know that I have a complete family now and you have nobody. I feel so lucky compared to you."

"Katniss, I don't need pity. And I don't have nobody. I have you. That is if you'll have me?" He says hopefully. I laugh. Peeta's still like a boy, not at all like the person who had survived two Hunger Games.

"Of course, Peeta. I'll have you. This doesn't mean nothing, you know."

To show him what 'this' is, I lean forward and press my lips to his. In an instant it's deepened, our parted lips moving in sync. I knot my fingers in his hair. It's so easy to give in to the hunger I feel around him.

Unfortunately, or kiss ends when we hear footsteps coming down the hall. My lips aren't that swollen and my hair is untouched, as our kiss wasn't that long. I smile shyly at him; I don't remember feeling this awkward after a kiss.

I watch as the doorknob turns and Prim walks in.

"Mom and Dad will be back any second, Katniss. The doctor was just finishing up her checks."

Peeta stands up. "I should go now, Katniss. I don't want to interrupt your reunion." I want to tell Peeta that he is my family and that I want him to stay, but I just nod and let him leave the room. I look at Prim.

"Was Dad okay?" I ask her.

"Funnily enough, he was," Prim says, "The doctor only recommended that he request larger portions for the time being from the kitchens." I'm about to respond, but something catches Prim's attention. "I hear them coming."

"Little Duck, why won't you hunt? You have hunter's ears just like me." I say.

"I don't like killing animals. You saw how disastrous it was when you tried to teach me. If we weren't starving, I think I'd like to become a vegetarian." Prim says.

"What's a vegetarian?" I question.

"Someone who doesn't eat meat. They can eat stuff like milk and eggs, but not meat. vegetarians usually don't have special conditions or anything; it's their choice."

I scoff. "You wouldn't be able to get your nutrients, Prim. You can't survive as a vegetarian."

"Actually, you can. There are other ways of getting protein than meat, Katniss. There are substitutes."

I don't think I'd ever become a vegetarian like her. But if we win this war, I'd never take away her choice to not eat meat. It'd be nice to be able to even have a choice.

Just then, the door swings open.

"Dad!" I exclaim. It's just like I'm a kid again, and I run into his arms and hug him like he's been gone forever. In a way, he has.

"Katniss, I missed so much of yours, Prim's, and your Mom's lives. I want to know everything." He kisses my forehead and our family sits on the floor.

I feel so content. My family has been brought back together. It's been years since we've done anything together, with all of us present. First, Mom was gone. Then when she came back after I returned from the games, I wasn't really there. Just a broken body with a shattered soul. In district 13, when Peeta came back, it was like that soul had repaired itself by filling in all the gaps.

"Let's start from when you 'died'," I say, using my fingers to make quotations. "When you left, mom got really... sad... and we couldn't really provide for ourselves."

"Oh my God Katniss, if I had known, I would've turned straight around and gone back, even if I was almost at Thirteen. I'm so sorry."

"Dad, we don't blame you," Prim says. Mom's eyes are cast downwards.

"Okay, so next was the bread thing," I say. My dad raises an eyebrow. "Well, as I said, we didn't have any money or food, so I tried selling Prim's baby clothes. Nobody stopped to talk to me, or even look at me." I'm closing my eyes now, reminiscing. "I was almost dead." I hear my father take in a sharp breath. "But then Peeta came. Did you know Peeta, Dad?" I ask.

"Yeah. The baker's son." I can hear the bitterness in his voice.

"Well, he saved my life. Burnt some loaves of bread on purpose so he could sneak them to me." I say. "The next day, I saw a dandelion. Then I remembered that I could get food from the woods. I sold my game at The Hob, and it went on like that for a year. One day, I got a rabbit from a snare I found in the woods. That's when I met... Gale." His name sounds disgusting in my mouth, and I actually get the urge to wash it.

"Who's Gale, Katniss?" My dad questions.

"Just a... friend," I say. I don't even know what to call us anymore.

My dad nods slowly as if he can read between the lines and knows what I mean. "I'll be having a talk with him."

"No! Dad, he's not..." I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Katniss, don't lie to your Daddy." My dad says. Peeta should be the one my dad talks to, not, ugh... Gale. "Anyway, continue please."

"Fine." I huff. "Gale and I became hunting partners, and he has a stupid nickname that he uses when he talks to or about me. Catnip. He started calling me that after a lynx followed me around and I had to shoot it. I hunted. That's what I did for years. Until the reaping when I was sixteen, a year and a half, I think, ago. Maybe a quarter." At my father's piercing gaze I stop stalling and get to the point. "Dad, Peeta, and I were in the games... twice."

"What!" he shouts.

"I had to volunteer-" I start.

"Why in the hell did you volunteer, Katniss?!" My dad shouts.

"-for Prim!"

"Prim, you got reaped?" Dad asks.

"Never mind, Dad, I'll show you the tapes of what happened in the past two years. We'll watch it together. I just need to ask Plutarch for permission."

Dad pauses for a moment before answering.

"Okay."


	7. Watching the Games

I'm standing in front of Plutarch Heavensbee, having asked my question and waiting for his response.

"Certainly! I would be happy to help your father find out what has happened since he came here." He says. I breathe a sigh of relief. I knew Plutarch would help.

"Thanks for the offer, but.. no. I was just wondering if you had the tapes of mine and Peeta's Games?" I ask.

"Of course. Give me just a moment..." Plutarch shuffles around and then disappears into another room. "I've got them." I hear Plutarch's distant voice say. When Plutarch comes back I grab the tapes out of his outstretched hands.

"Thanks." With that I leave the room and head back to the compartment where my dad is waiting, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Do you have the tapes?" he immediately asks.

"Yeah," I reply. "Can Peeta watch it with us? I mean, he was in the Games too..."

"No, Katniss. Just you and me, okay? I don't trust the Baker's son." he says.

"Fine," I grumble, starting up the television. Since this used to be my compartment, and I'm the Mockingjay, this room has luxuries that other citizens don't have. Dad and I sit on the couch and it starts.

First, there's the reaping. Glimmer and Marvel automatically volunteer as their district's tributes.

In District Two, the announcer pulls the boy's name first, and Cato volunteers. Clove is reaped, but her eyes are set and determined. Nobody volunteers because Clove is already a Career.

District Three is next. I see the scared face of the boy who was smart enough to figure out how to reactivate the mines, and I feel guilty. I just sat there and watched his death. Beetee, who was among the victors, has a pained expression when he walks up to the stage. I'll have to ask him about that later.

In District Four, nobody volunteers for the boy. The girl who, I remember, I killed with the Tracker Jackers, volunteers, although not as confidently as the Careers from One and Two did.

Foxface and her male district partner are reaped, and I watch as Foxface hides her emotions from the cameras. She just calmly walks up to the stage, and I see no traces of fear. She must have practiced for this day, and for the shock of being reaped.

District Six has no familiar faces. I can hardly remember their Tributes for the Games, so I feel less guilty while I watch them getting reaped.

District Seven, Johanna's District, is full of trees. Even in the square, you can see trees outlining it. Again, I don't really remember Seven's Tributes, so I don't feel all that bad.

District Eight was the first district to rebel, I remember. The girl who started the fire starts crying when she is picked, and I want to get up and run. The Games haven't even started yet.

Next is District Nine, and then there is District Ten. The boy with the crippled leg hobbles up to the stage with his cane, and I see not even a single ounce of sympathy in the Capitol escort's eyes. Just disappointment.

District Eleven is too hard for me to watch, so I just scoot closer to my dad on the couch and close my eyes, waiting until I hear Effie's voice.

I watch Prim as she gets reaped, and me volunteering for her. My dad turns to look at me.

"That was so brave Katniss, so brave, but so stupid." He says. I just say nothing.

Peeta is reaped, and instead of watching Peeta's alarmed face, I watch my dad's reaction. His facial expression does not change.

The reporters are shocked at the fact that I volunteered. Then it cuts to an interview with Caesar Flickerman and Seneca Crane, which I tune out.

When it shows the tribute parade, I nervously watch my dad's reaction to mine and Peeta's hand-holding, but again, his face is unchanged.

When I get an eleven, my dad whoops and hugs me, telling me that I did a great job.

At the interviews, he is in awe of my dress.

"You're such a beautiful girl, Katniss. Who made the dress?" My dad asks.

I swallow a sob and answer him. "Cinna."

When it is Peeta's turn, my dad looks as though he doesn't care, but when he sees Peeta telling everyone that he has a crush on me, he starts yelling.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" he yells, throwing his arms up into the air. "I'M GOING TO KILL THAT LITTLE FUCKER, HE'S-"

"It was an act, Dad." I blurt out, cutting him off. His face softens a little. "To get sponsors." Technically, I'm not lying. It was an act until it wasn't.

The rest of the Games I get through by just closing my eyes and plugging my ears, so I don't see my dad's reaction to things. I don't think I'll ever want to see his reaction to the kisses Peeta and I shared.

When the first Games are over, I feel like I'm going to throw up, so I get up to leave.

"Sorry, Dad. I can't watch it." I rush out of the room and into my compartment, where I fall asleep, only to be greeted by more nightmares about the Games.

*************

I wake up abruptly and check the time. It's early in the morning. I have one thought in my mind right now: Peeta.

I swing my legs off the bed, and somehow find Peeta's compartment. I can tell by his breathing patterns that he is awake.

Peeta opens his eyes slowly, blinking a couple of times. "Hey Katniss," he says, giving me a lopsided smile. "Whaddaya need?"

I grab one of his blue sleep t-shirts from the dresser and rush into the bathroom. I jump out of my District Thirteen uniform and pull on the shirt, so I'm wearing nothing but my underwear, bra and the shirt. It's really big and goes down to mid-thigh.

Then I walk over and climb into his small bed, and Peeta opens his arms almost automatically. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his chest.

"My dad and I watched the Games," I say, my voice muffled. I feel Peeta's heartbeat quicken.

"Why didn't you ask me to come?" He asks. Nothing in his tone is accusatory, he sounds genuinely curious.

"I tried, my dad wouldn't let me," I say. "Also, I don't think he likes you, he started swearing as soon as you said you had a crush on me, to the point that I had to say it was an act. I think he even made a death threat."

"Oh," Peeta says nervously. "I guess I'll have to confront him sooner or later, anyway."

"Just remember that my dad doesn't speak for me. I'm with you, and there's nothing to be done." I plant a kiss on his lips, but I keep it short so the hunger doesn't return and make me get carried away.

"Night, love," Peeta says, already drifting off.

"What did you just call me?" I snap, sitting up.

"Love?" Peeta is confused.

"Don't call me that," I say.

Peeta chuckles. "Okay..."

I lay back down next to him and fall asleep, but before I drift off, I swear I can hear him whispering love one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! I'd love to hear what you think!


	8. Meeting with Coin

I wake up in the morning to the dim lights of District Thirteen. I shift my head a little to look at Peeta's face, but find that our heads are far too close together to see each other fully, so I pull back and kiss the spot under his jaw, making him groan. He tightens his grip on me.

"G'morning," I say.

"Morning," Peeta replies. 

I don't know what comes over me, but I flip myself over so I'm on top of Peeta, sit up and straddle his waist. 

Peeta grins. "Like the view?"

I look at him and I see that his chest is bare. I didn't notice last night, I guess. Suddenly I get the urge to kiss every inch of skin that is showing, but instead I just laugh.

"Just so you know, I'm quite enjoying the view," Peeta says, his voice husky. Then I remember that all I'm wearing, besides my underwear, is his blue t-shirt. 

Just as I'm leaning down to kiss him, there is a sharp knock at the door.

"You take it," I tell Peeta. "It might be my dad or something, and I don't want him to know I'm here."

Peeta nods. I hide in the washroom while Peeta goes to answer the door, still shirtless but sporting a pair of plaid sleep pants. I think that Peeta would look much better sleeping if he had just his boxers on.

Or maybe naked.

I don't even bother trying to tell the voice in the back of my head to shut up, because I've been having these thoughts too often to force myself to believe that they're not real. 

I am completely attracted to Peeta Mellark.

I hear Peeta open the door and greet whoever is on the other side of it in a stiff voice.

"How are you doing, Gale?"

My stomach drops. What does Gale want? I know I shouldn't be worried, but Gale and Peeta... they're not exactly the best of friends.

I hear Gale step forward. "I want you to stay away from my Catnip."

"Excuse me?" Peeta asks, obviously confused. 

"Stay away from Catnip. She's mine." I hear silence for a moment, but then Gale's footsteps recede and I come out of the washroom, sitting down on the bed.

"What was that all about?" I ask, pretending I didn't listen to the conversation.

"Gale was here," Peeta says, sitting next to me. I widen my eyes, so that Peeta thinks I'm surprised.

"What did he want?" I ask, trying to sound suspicious.

Peeta gulps. "Katniss, do you- do you want me to back off?"

"What?" I ask. Now I'm actually shocked. "No! Of course not! I'm the one who's been coming in here every night. If I didn't want to be around you, then why am I here? Why am I wearing your shirt? Why was I sleeping in your bed?" 

I'm being a little bit defensive, but it seems like it worked, because Peeta has relaxed. 

To prove my point even further, I crawl forward and sit in his lap, my legs on either side of him. I rest my forehead against his. 

"Why do I kiss you, even though nobody's watching?"

My voice comes out in a whisper. Peeta's blue eyes get darker, and shine with love (although they always do when he's around me). He brings his hand up to caress my face. I close the distance between us and our lips meet. Soon, the kiss goes from sweet and soft to passionate and feverish. My hands are all over Peeta's torso. I slide my hands over his chest, his arms, and his abs that, I remember, he gained while we were training for the Quell. They are a bit less hard and distinguishable than they were before, but- wait. Why am I obsessing over his abs?

I feel Peeta's strong, steady hands shakily venture underneath the shirt I'm wearing, but he instantly pulls his hands back.

"Can I- I mean- you..." 

I don't say anything to answer the question he asked, but I grab his hands and place them back underneath the hem of my shirt. I connect my lips with his again and we fall onto the bed, me on top of him. For a second our kiss breaks, but I smash my lips to his again.

Peeta's hands travel further and further underneath my shirt, and his hand grazes the bottom of my bra. When I just keep on kissing him, although harder, he pushes my shirt off of me, leaving me exposed in only my bra and panties. I feel him, rock hard, against me.

With a growl Peeta flips us over, so he's hovering above me. My heart is fluttering in my chest. 

Am I ready for this?

Another knock on the door breaks us apart, but this time I feel thankful. I don't think I'm ready for sex, and I'm pretty sure that Peeta doesn't own any condoms. I'm definitely not ready to get pregnant.

I decide to change into proper clothes, and I see Peeta's face fall a little bit before he grabs his own shirt and pulls it over him.

When he opens the door, I see that Haymitch is there. It's amazing how perfect his timing is all the time.

"What do you want, Haymitch?" I sigh.

"You're expected at a meeting with Coin in an hour," he says. "It's something about Two. Continue... whatever you were doing." Haymitch smirks, and that's when I become aware of our swollen lips and mussed hair.

"Fuck off, Haymitch," I say.

"Ooh, Mockingjay is using no no words now!" he says. I roll my eyes and look at Peeta, but he's just annoyed at Haymitch. 

I've heard him curse a few times, but never at someone. He's heard me swear plenty of times, though. It's surprising that this is the first time that Haymitch has ever heard me swear.

"How about you leave, Haymitch?" Peeta says exasperatedly. When he doesn't, I just slam the door in his face and wait until I hear him leaving.

"Haymitch sucks," I say, shaking my head.

"Yeah, he does," Peeta agrees. 

"Really his timing is impeccable," I grumble, and Peeta nods.

He wraps his arm around my waist like it's the most normal thing in the world, but after a few minutes of me leaning into him, I feel his body tense up.

"What?" I mumble, muffled by my face being half pressed into his shoulder.

"Nothing, Kat," Peeta says. "Can I call you that? Kat?"

I smirk, and decide that Peeta's tensing was probably nothing. "Well, it is better than 'love', so yeah, I guess it's fine."

"Kat," Peeta says slowly, tasting the name. I think his voice saying his nickname for me is sexy. "Kat, Kat, Kat, Kat, Kat, Kat, Kat, Kat, Kat-"

I pull away from him and put one finger over his lips. "If you do that I might rethink my decision," I say. "And then no more kisses."

"NO!" Peeta shouts loudly, and I can't tell if he's acting or not. I never could, anyway.

"Ah, I'm just teasing, knucklehead," I say, but then I regret calling him that so I give him a kiss.

"I love you, Kat," Peeta blurts out, making me feel all warm and tingly from head to toe. Then his face goes red. "You don't have to say it back," he says quickly.

The tone of his voice almost breaks my heart, and my earlier playfulness dissipates. I try to open my mouth to tell him that I love him, too, because I know it's true, but I just keep blushing no matter how hard I try to say something. I really am bad with words.

Peeta's shoulders slump, not dramatically or in a surprised way, but in resignation, as if he was expecting silence. Why can't I just say three words? I know that I'm in love with him, so why can't I just say it? Why do I have to act like a fucking blushing schoolgirl around him?

"It's okay," Peeta says. 

I'm still incapable of speech for some reason, so I wrap both of my arms around him and hug him. Peeta pushes me away.

"What?" I ask, my voice finally coming back.

"I just... need some space right now," Peeta says. After seeing my disappointment, he adds, "I'll come back, I just need some time to myself. I mean, you basically just told me you didn't love me... again... after you did all that stuff. I'll see you at the meeting." 

"But I do love you," I say as he walks out of the room, but obviously he doesn't hear me because he doesn't stop.

*************

I enter the meeting room where Coin, Plutarch and a number of other high-ranking officials are already seated. They occupy one half of the table, leaving the other half empty. My dad and Gale are already sitting down at the table, with two spots empty. 

I end up sitting in front of my dad with an empty spot right next to me. Peeta hasn't arrived yet.

As soon as I have that thought, Peeta enters and sits down in the empty chair, but not before flashing everyone a warm smile. His gaze lingers on me for a little longer, and I see that out of the corner of my eye my dad is glaring at him.

Coin breaks the tension by speaking. "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here."

My dad nods, but I can see the cold fury in his eyes. 

"You four are going to go to District Two," Coin says. "You, as the Mockingjay, are vital to the rebellion."

"And it would be most exciting to see the Mockingjay fighting along with the men in her life!" Fulvia cuts in. I roll my eyes at 'men in her life'.

My dad's eyes flicker to Peeta distrustfully, and Peeta doesn't meet his gaze. He turns his stare back to Coin. 

"Alright, we're going to Two."


	9. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the long wait. Writer's block really kills you.

I sit on the hovercraft with Peeta, still waiting for everyone to board. Peeta hasn't uttered a single word, but he's sitting right next to me.

"Peeta?" I ask softly. Peeta looks up, and I can tell by his expression that he has an apology ready. Normally, I would say something like you don't have to apologize, but I don't say anything. Peeta should apologize for walking out on me this morning. Leaving me in his room, like everything that's his is mine, too, but nothing that's mine is his.

"Katniss, I want to apologize for walking out on you this morning," he says. There it is. I'm about to nod and accept his apology so we can move on, but Peeta continues. "And I shouldn't have pushed you that far."

I furrow my brows. Yes, I'm not ready to go all the way, but I'm the one who initiated it. Again, I open my mouth to argue, but Peeta plows on.

"I also shouldn't have expected you to feel as strongly about me as I do you. I mean, I don't even know what happened. When I got here, to Thirteen, you were jumping on me and kissing me like what we had was ever real. What changed?" Peeta doesn't sound accusatory as he says this, but I can tell that he wants an answer. 

I can't keep stalling, taking time to make up my mind about things, and then second guess myself. I love Peeta. But here isn't the place to say it.

I go through all my memories of Peeta. Our first kiss, when he was dying and I was only acting for the cameras. Our first real kiss, the one that made me want more, the first kiss that I never wanted to stop, and probably wouldn't have if my head hadn't started bleeding. 

The kiss on the beach, when I realized I needed him, and my subconscious realized I loved him.

"Remember the kiss on the beach? What I said... that was true, Peeta," I say. I'm bad with words and I really can't express how I feel about him unless I say I love you, and I want to say that when the time is right. So I settle on the three words I said on the beach that night. "I need you."

Peeta smiles reassuringly at me. 

"I'll be happy with just that as long as it means I have a chance," he says. 

"Of course." I nod. "Only if you think you'll be able to put up with me."

"I put up with you for almost twelve years, Katniss, I think I can handle the rest of my life with you," he says, and my heart leaps at the insinuation that we'll still be together for the rest of our lives.

I lean into his side and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. We sit in a comfortable silence and wait until the rest arrive.

A little less than a minute later, Gale comes into the hovercraft, only muttering a quick, "Catnip, Mellark," before sitting down at the seat closest to the cockpit. My dad comes in soon after, and I spring apart from Peeta so he doesn't kill Peeta or something.

My dad stops in front of Peeta and I. He gestures for Peeta to move so he can take his spot, but I give Peeta a don't-you-dare move look, and he stays. My dad sighs, and sits down on my other side.

The rest of the crew arrives- including Cressida, Pollux and Castor. Soon enough we have taken off and are headed in the direction of District Two. Since I can't do anything with Peeta in the presence of my dad, I just think about my situation with both Gale and my dad.

I think that I should apologize to Gale for overreacting, but then again, he was pretty rude. My dad has practically come back from the dead, so I definitely have to spend more time with him. Hopefully I can explain things to both Gale and my dad so we can go back to Thirteen with less tension between us.

...

When we get to the campsite in Two my ass is sore. My father keeps sending Peeta looks, so I know I have to talk to him soon. 

"Okay! We need to build a campfire or we'll freeze!" my dad announces. He's right. It's only autumn, but the chilly air still feels like we could be in the middle of winter. My dad starts ordering people around. He tells Peeta to get branches from the thicker part of the woods because we don't have an axe to chop big chunks of wood off the trees.

I mumble that I'm going with Peeta and I follow him into the thick cluster of trees. My dad hears me but doesn't do anything, as he's too busy telling people what to do. He's always been a natural leader.

Peeta and I get out of earshot and sight of the rest of the group.

"My dad doesn't like you that much," I say.

"You think?" Peeta says exasperatedly. "But your dad hasn't really even talked to me yet. He'll change his mind when he gets to know me."

"Maybe," I say. "He only knows you as 'The Baker's Son', I'm guessing it has something to do with your dad, you know the whole 'I wanted to marry your mother' thing."

"Maybe," Peeta says, and it just then that I realize I brought up his dead father, which is probably a touchy subject.

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "I'm being so insensitive."

"It's okay, Katniss," he says. 

"No, it's not. Can you be bitter for once in your life?"

"So you want me to be angry with you?"

"No- well, yes, actually- but no."

Peeta raises his eyebrows, as if he's saying, give me a straight answer, yes or no?

"No! I don't want you to!" 

"Then what's the big deal?" Peeta asks.

I take a deep breath. "You're just too nice, Peeta. If I offend you, or hurt you, you always say that it's your fault or that it's fine. You can't let all my bullshit slide, Peeta."

"I don't know, Katniss, that's not really my personality."

"So you're always going to be this nice?"

"I'm not going to go around and pick fights with you every time I get sad about some shit that the Capitol did, let me repeat that, the Capitol, not you. Are you trying to turn me into Gale or something? "

"Oh, now you're bringing Gale into this?"

"Why are we even arguing about apologizing for stuff?"

I stop. He's right. Peeta isn't Gale, and I shouldn't be trying to make him into Gale, just because Gale is the guy I have spent the most time with. One of the things I love about Peeta is his kindness. I can't destroy that.

"Sorry," I begin, but then I remember that apologizing is what got us into this whole thing. "I mean, I just don't want you to think that every single thing I do is okay, Peeta. You're allowed to get angry at me."

"I know, and I might, but that's only if you do something terrible, like cheat, or hurt me badly."

"You can get mad at me for just not listening to you, as well."

"Can we just agree that I will get angry at you when I get angry at you?"

"Sure," I say.

"Now come here," he says. 

This is probably the last of our alone time before we have to head back so the others don't get suspicious, so I walk up to him quickly and soon we are in a full-on makeout session, with my back pressed up against a tree, Peeta's tongue ravaging my mouth. Not long ago I've discovered that, my mood changes how I like Peeta to kiss me. If I feel fragile and sad, I like his lips soft and sweet. If I'm happy, I like it passionate.

And right now I'm lustful, so I'm quite enjoying how rough he's being.

My fingers knot in Peeta's hair. I take in his scent as I try to bring in air through my nose, struggling more and more to breathe but not caring because I don't want the kiss to end. No matter where we go, he always has a lingering scent of cinnamon and dill. This thought makes me smile into the kiss. I wonder if his skin tastes like cinnamon, too.

It is with this thought that I reluctantly drag my lips away from Peeta's, and as if he's thinking the same thing I am, our heads both drop down to each other's necks and we start tasting the other's skin.

I place an open-mouthed kiss on the side of his neck, and experimentally I poke my tongue out and start swirling my tongue over the skin there, pressing hard. Peeta does the same, and finishes it off with a bite.

He tastes better than cinnamon, I note.

As Peeta continues to kiss my neck, he starts squeezing my breasts. Hard.

"Peeta," I half-whisper, half-moan, trying to keep my voice down.

He takes it as a good sign and continues kissing my neck while squeezing my breasts. The hunger in my core only grows as I grind into him, and his response is using his whole body to press me up against the tree. He's really hard.

Peeta brings his mouth back up to mine, and his hands keep moving lower and lower until he reaches my ass, and then he cups it. I take this opportunity to swing my legs around either side of Peeta and lock them around him.

I grind into him again but harder, and now it's Peeta's turn to stifle his moan by bringing his lips to my earlobe and sucking lightly.

We continue like this for a while, never going so far as to take any clothes off the other, which is fine with me because I don't want to go too far and actually do the deed. I can't risk getting pregnant.

My hunter's ears pick up the sound while his don't.

It's my dad. And he's looking for me.

"Shit," I mutter.

"Peeta," I whisper. He assumes that it's another one of my quieted moans, so he continues what he's doing, which right now is tweaking my hardened nipples through the fabric of my shirt.

"Peeta," I try again. He just keeps going, and I bite my lip to stop myself from making a sound. 

God, it feels so good but I have to get his attention. Ah, no, stop, Katniss, stop. Tell him your dad is coming. He can't catch you like this. But it feels so good...

"Peeta!" 

I snap my mouth shut at my shout. The sound of my pleasure mixed with my frustration at him not listening to me leaves me mortified, making me wonder if my dad heard.

He definitely did, because I soon hear my dad's light footsteps getting louder and louder while Peeta's hands travel to my waist and his lips are brought back to mine.

"KATNISS?"

My dad's voice finally makes Peeta aware of the situation. His eyes widen (comically, I might say if I weren't absolutely terrified) as we both guiltily turn to face my dad. Us not being close anymore makes me painfully aware of how wet my panties are.

"Dad..." I begin.

"What the fuck is going on here?" 

"It's not what it looks like..." I try.

"It's not what it looks like? Then what is it? Because it looks like you and that worthless piece of junk were getting it on out here!"

Tears burn in my eyes and I'm surprised that after all these years, a scolding from my dad still has that effect on me. 

"Mr. Everdeen," Peeta speaks up. "I'm sorry for not talking to you about this sooner. I would never force Katniss to do anything without her consent. I respect your daughter greatly, and I am courting her, for real." His words don't have the effect that he hopes because of the tent still showing in his pants.

"WHAT?" my dad shouts, his face getting redder and redder. He turns to me. "You said it was all an act!"

I see hurt register on Peeta's face until he remembers that I told him that I had to tell my dad it was an act and he goes back to being terrified of my dad.

"He actually got you pregnant at seventeen?! What is wrong with you?" my dad screams.

"No, I didn't get her pregnant, Mr. Everdeen, nor did we get married. That was a lie. But-"

"You're still pathetic. Just like your dad. When I 'died', you probably thought it was safe to to whatever you wanted with her. I'll tell you this: you can get your cowardly pathetic ass away from my daughter. She already has a boyfriend, and I've met him."

"What?" I ask. I don't have a boyfriend. Oh wait... he must mean... oh god no.

"Gale is a good person, Katniss. Don't let this guy ruin your relationship."

"Wait, Dad," I say. "Listen to me. Gale is NOT my boyfriend-"

"Bullshit. He said he was."

"He's a liar, Dad. Anyway, what you saw with Peeta, it was mostly an act. Well, it was me forcing myself to think I was acting when really I wasn't. Then, when he was rescued from the Capitol since they captured him at the end of the Quell, I realized, that-."

"You've made your point," my das interrupts. "Why does he" he indicates Peeta, "Think he deserves you?" he points to me.

"I could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him," I say, echoing Haymitch.

"Katniss..." Peeta says.

"Shut it, boy," my dad interrupts. "Katniss, you deserve so much better than the likes of him. His father was not a good person, okay? He tried to steal your mother away from me."

"So that is where this is all coming from!" I say angrily. "Why would you judge Peeta based on his parents? I don't think anyone would like me if they thought the way you do, with the way you're acting right now. They'd think I'm a jealous, temperamental bitch!"

My dad recoils as if he's been slapped in the face. I then realize that I basically called my dad a jealous, temperamental bitch.

I continue anyway. "Peeta's nothing like his mother, and his father was a very nice person. Do you know who made sure Prim ate? Peeta's father! He also gave Gale and I a whole bread for just one squirrel the morning Prim was reaped! Anyway, Peeta's a really good person, dad. Why would you judge him because of some old thing you probably had against his father?"

"You don't understand, Katniss," my dad says.

"Dad! I want to date Peeta! He's a good person! Why won't you just let me? Do you just want to see me unhappy?"

I continue ranting about how it's so selfish that he wants to keep me away from Peeta because of an old rivalry with Peeta's dad. 

"Katniss."

I stop. "What?"

"There's probably nothing I can do to stop you," he says. Damn right there's nothing he can do to stop me. "Nothing ever stopped your mother, either. But just know that I warned you about him. He's trouble."

My dad opens his mouth to speak more but Gale comes crashing through the trees and gets my father's attention. He looks between the three of us, especially Peeta and I, with our very swollen lips and mussed hair, and his face breaks into a smug expression.

"Oh, hello Mr. Everdeen," Gale says, smirking. "I was wondering if I could have a talk with Catnip in private?"

"By all means, Gale. But I told you that you could call me Ashton."

"C'mon, Catnip," Gale says, and in three strides he's gotten to me and grabbed my wrist. 

Gale drags me away and I look behind to see my father getting ready to give Peeta hell. I just have enough time to see Peeta gulp before the thick trees block my view of them. Sure enough, a minute later I can hear the faint shouts of my dad, but I don't know what he's saying.

"Gale, where are we going?" I ask after a long while of walking between trees that seem to be getting bigger and bigger by the minute.

"Just far enough so nobody can hear."

"I think we're far enough, Gale," I say, hoping my worry isn't showing. "I have something I need to tell you, too, but we don't need to go this far away from anyone."

"Don't worry, Catnip, we're almost there," he says in a tone that makes me uncomfortable.

Gale stops suddenly and pulls a black blindfold out of his pocket. 

"Put this on," he instructs me. "I have a surprise for you."

I do as he says. Gale is my best friend. I trust him... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! How did you like this chapter? What do you think Gale is planning? Constructive criticism is welcome. I appreciate every comment I get, whether it's "Nice chapter" or "You dumb bitch, this is the worst thing I have ever read".


	10. Gale

"Follow me, Catnip," Gale says.

"I can't," I answer. "For whatever reason I'm blindfolded. But Gale, I really need to say..." 

"Later, Catnip," Gale says. "Just wait. For now you can hold my arm."

I reach out blindly for him and my hands wrap around his upper arm. Gale tugs me forward and I stumble a little bit, tripping on some sticks.

"Okay, we're here," Gale announces. I go to pull the blindfold off but Gale stops me. "Keep it on."

"Ugh. Gale, what are you doing?"

"Lie down," he instructs.

"No." I say.

"Do it."

"Why?"

He's silent for a few moments. "Because... I need to test a... snare. Yeah. I need to test a snare."

I roll my eyes, but he can't see because this damn blindfold is covering my eyes. "So why do I need a blindfold?"

"It might... prick... your eyes."

"Oh. Okay. But why did you bring me all the way out here? And why are you testing snares?"

"We can talk about that later, but for now..."

I suddenly remember what I need to talk to him about. "Gale, I want to say that I'm sorry for overreacting when you just got mad about me being with Peeta. It's alright to be jealous and I shouldn't have gotten so pissed about it."

Gale is doing something and I can hear it, but I just don't know what. It sounds a little bit like fabric being thrown to the ground, but I'm not sure.

"But," I say. "You shouldn't have gotten so judgmental about mine and Peeta's relationship. I still shouldn't have reacted the way I did but you-"

I'm cut off with a kiss from Gale's cold lips. 

He breaks away quickly but only to shove them back onto mine and push me against a tree. I try to get him off but he's too heavy. I also find that his chest is bare when I attempt to push him away.

"What the fuck?" I shout when he comes up for air.

"You weren't exactly complaining, Catnip," he says, and I can hear the smugness in his voice.

"I was trying to get you off of me!" I say angrily.

Instead of talking Gale kisses me again. Soon, with a lot of struggling from me and forcefulness from Gale, we're in the same position I was in with Peeta not that long ago, except he's pinned my wrists above my head so I can't try to escape.

Gale releases my wrists and I sigh in relief. Maybe's he's going to let me go now, I think as I immediately start struggling again.

"I know what you're doing!" I say. "You can't fool me, this sure as hell isn't 'testing snares'."

"Ah well," Gale says. He rips off my blindfold and pushes me to the ground. I land on my back so I'm lying down, like he told me to earlier but this time I understand his intention.

I open my eyes and I find Gale's naked body standing on top of me. I notice his throbbing... well, what do I call it? My mom calls it a penis. I've heard people call it a dick but others call it a cock. It's actually not that huge (compared to Peeta's because I've seen it through his pants and Peeta's is humongous), despite the many stories I've heard from girls who make frequent trips to the slag heap.

I try to get up again, but he lays down on top of me with his entire weight and his... cock presses against my thigh.

I try to scream for help as Gale rips off my shirt, but I don't think hears me. Why did I let him take me this far away from everyone? 

"Get off of me, asshole! Get off!" 

"Oh I will get off. And you will too. Baker boy doesn't have as nice of a cock as I do..." every trace of the old Gale in his voice is gone. He sounds menacing, evil even.

He's going to rape me. He's going to rape me. He's going to rape me.

I try to use my tininess to my advantage and get out from under him but he seems to be expecting it because he blocks my every attempt to get out. I even try punching him in the face, but it does nothing, in fact, it only seems to make him angrier.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask when I realize my fighting is useless, tears stinging my eyes because I know now that Gale, my best friend is gone.

"Because... I'm so much better than Baker boy. You're mine, nobody else's. I knew you first. Your dad actually likes me-"

"He won't once he finds out what you've done to me," I snarl.

"Nobody will believe you," he says in return.

Gale kisses me again. I try kicking this time but since his entire weight is pressed on top of me I can't lift my legs. Holding my arms down, he tries ripping away my bra with my teeth but is unsuccessful.

"What's this?" he asks, looking at my neck. He must have noticed my hickeys. Good.

"Peeta," I say to him. "Peeta gave me those."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to make some more, then."

No, no, no, no, no.

I hear heavy footsteps heading towards us. Peeta.

I scream as loud as I can so he can hear me, and Gale takes this as the cue to shove his hand down my underwear.

Peeta's coming closer and closer, and when I think he's close enough to see me, Gale shouts, "YOU LOVE ME, CATNIP? NOT MELLARK? I LOVE YOU T-"

He's cut off my a punch in the face from Peeta. 

Peeta! 

I hear the sounds of punches being thrown and I stay on the ground for a little while, just so I can feel myself again because I'm pretty sure Gale's weight cut off my circulation. 

I look to the left where I see Peeta beating Gale up. 

"You want to touch her again? Do you want to fucking touch her again?" he spits. "She may be willing, but I'm not going to let you go anywhere near her!"

His eyes are so full of rage that I can hardly recognize the Peeta behind it all. Gale's face is covered in blood while Peeta repeatedly punches it. When he's had enough, he gets up and stomps on Gale's cock for good measure, and Gale's cry of agony is so loud that probably every single person in Panem can hear it.

"You call that a cock? Pathetic," he says.

I get up to thank Peeta, not caring about my shirtless state. However, when I wrap my arms around him, and try to give him a peck on the lips in thanks, but he turns his head away so the kiss lands on his hair, and he shoves my arms off of him.

"Peeta?" I ask, confused.

He turns to face me. 

"I can't believe you would do that," he tries to say angrily, but all I see in his face is hurt.

"Do what?" I ask. Gale tried to rape me and Peeta saved me.

"You walk off with Gale, while your dad gives me hell. After, I go to find you and I hear you screaming so I assume you're in trouble. But in reality, you're well on your way to fucking him!"

"W-what?"

"Don't try to act all innocent. You are- well, you were my girlfriend, but really you've been cheating on me this whole time! Why did you even get with me in the first place? Didn't want to hurt poor little Peeta's feelings?"

He's making the most outrageous accusations about me. And he said I was his girlfriend. "Are you breaking up with me?" I whisper brokenly.

"Yes, I am," he says, and I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I'm almost raped, Peeta saves me, but thinks it wasn't rape and Gale and I were just screwing, and then tries to break up with me without even knowing the whole thing? This is why I shouldn't have fallen in love. This. But I'm in too deep to stop loving him.

"You can't do this!" I shout. "Gale led me out here and-"

"You expect me to believe that lie? Why is he naked? Why was he on top of you? Why is your shirt off? Why do you have love bites all over your neck? And don't tell me that was me, because there sure as hell weren't that many when we were talking to your dad!"

"Peeta! Gale tried to r-"

"This is it! I'm not wasting my time with you anymore!"

"STOP IT AND LISTEN TO ME!"

"Why should I? You just betrayed my trust, and it's not the first time! I don't want to waste my time with you if you just keep doing this! You're just a lying, two-faced-"

That's it. Mustering up all my strength, I raise my hand and slap him right across the face, leaving a bright red hand print against his pale skin.

"Don't you dare fucking accuse me of something you don't know about," I hiss. "Fucking go. Before I slap you again." I'm disgusted by the words spilling out of my mouth. I sound like his mother, but I'm too angry at him to want to be nicer to him.

"Fine," he growls, and storms off. 

I sink down onto the ground and that's when I hear Gale start laughing maniacally. I go over to him and spit out my last bit of anger.

"Fuck. You."

"You will, one day," he says and then starts laughing again, blood bubbling in his mouth. I kick him in the face so hard I think I've broken his nose, but he only laughs harder.

He's gone mad.

After pulling my shirt back on, I leave him there, not caring what happens to him because he's not the same Gale anymore.

...

I head back to camp, and all I'm thinking about is how alone I am. My dad hates Peeta and I together. Something's wrong with Gale. Peeta hates me.

I know I'm not alone; I have Prim Johanna, Finnick and my mother, but I can't help but think that I am.

Maybe I can talk to my dad about it. I'm not so sure anymore that Peeta is a good person, well, judging by how he was a few minutes ago. 

"Dad!" I call when I get back to camp. He's sitting outside of his tent, probably waiting for me to get back. "Dad!" I break into a run and when I reach my father his arms instinctively wrap around me when he sees my expression.

"What's wrong?" he asks, and that's when I break down. I sob into his shirt for a long while, shaking until my tear ducts dry up. "Did Mellark do this?I knew it, he-"

"Gale. It was Gale."

"What? I thought he was good-"

"He tried to r-rape me," I tell him shakily. 

"WHAT?" he asks, pure rage in his eyes. "Nobody does that to my daughter! I'm going to kill him. I should have never let him take you away, oh God, I'm so sorry..." he squeezes me tighter. "I thought Mellark was the reason you were like this..." he squeezes me tighter.

"Peeta's also part of the reason," I say, still teary. "He saved me, but-"

"He saved you?"

"-he thought that Gale wasn't trying to rape me and that I was cheating on him." It doesn't seem like it was a big deal, now, Peeta was being stupid and he can't walk away again, like he did on the train, because of a misunderstanding.

"Well, he's an idiot, maybe this means you two shouldn't-"

"No! No, no, no, no, no! I'm angry with him right now, but I can't stop myself from loving him!"

My dad looks shocked. "What?"

Oh my God. Oh my God. I just admitted I loved Peeta to my dad. It's like one of those cheesy Capitol romance movies that Prim liked to watch on television at our house in Victor's Village.

"... Uhm... yeah..." I answer awkwardly, my cheeks heating up. My forehead suddenly feels sweaty.

"You love him?"

"Uh... I do, I guess..."

"Why?"

Before I can answer (I didn't know what I was going to say in response anyway), Gale comes running towards the campsite, thankfully he has put his clothes back on. His face is covered in dried blood.

"Ah, Mr. Everdeen," he says when he sees us. "Mellark over there decided to go crazy on me and-"

Before he can finish my dad has punched him in the gut and continues to beat him up, quite similar to what Peeta did earlier.

"Don't. You. Ever. Touch. My. Daughter. Again!" he growls in between punches. 

On top of the dried blood, fresh blood is gushing out of his nose, new bruises appearing on his face and cuts being reopened because of my father's fingernails clawing at his face. Gale has brought up his hands in a defensive position, and if I weren't so angry at him I would have felt bad for him.

"Listen to me, you little shit," my dad says, grabbing a fistful of Gale's shirt. "When we get back to Thirteen, you're going to go to the Hospital, because people will want to help you since you're Katniss' 'cousin'. Then I'll tell them what you tried to do and you'll go to the prison where your pretty little face will be so ruined that nobody will even recognize you if you're allowed out."

Gale stays determined. He looks over at me, eyes filled with hatred.

"You're a Mutt," he says. "A fucking mutt."

"Don't you dare call her that!" My father says, but he's oblivious to him and continues staring at me. It's eerily similar to how Cato looked at me, like he wanted to kill me.

"Hey!" my dad calls to the rest of the crew, obviously sensing that Gale isn't going to leave me alone. "Do we have handcuffs? We need to keep him contained. He's a threat."

"Yes," one soldier replies. He quickly cuffs Gale and drags him off to a tent, probably so he can call Thirteen about Gale.

I look around for Peeta, hoping he heard the commotion and came out of his hiding place. But he doesn't. I do, however, see that the lights in his tent has been turned on. 

I go to his tent and try to get him to talk to me.

"Peeta," I say, but all Peeta does is turn his lights back off at my voice. 

"Peeta." I try again. "I didn't cheat on you."

"Oh, yeah, sure, tell that to your boyfriend. You don't need to sneak around behind my back anymore, Katniss," he replies, but I can hear that his voice is shaky and it's pretty clear that he has cried recently.

I'm finally fed up with him not listening to me. If he won't listen, I won't even try. I decide that I'm going to let him go, but not until he knows the truth.

"Fine. Goodbye, then, Peeta. But I'll have you know that I would never cheat on you. Why would I have wanted to, anyway? You don't even listen to me when I try to tell you that Gale fucking tried to rape me. You wouldn't believe me, I know, because 'Gale was my best friend and he wouldn't do that to you'," I mock his stupid whiny voice. "but he's not right in the head anymore. He called me a mutt. You can fucking believe whatever you want though, because you and I are done."

The light turns back on. "Katniss..." I can hear the remorse in his voice. If he thinks I'm going to forgive him for his mistake, he's wrong. "I'm sorry...I didn't know... I thought..."

"I'm not going to forgive you this easy. You fucking proved that you actually think so little of me that you'd believe Gale's shit over what I say."

"I'm sorry, but what else was I supposed to think?"

"Maybe you could have let me tell you instead of just accusing me!" Not waiting to hear his response, to let him know that I won't forgive him, I storm off and make my extra quiet feet sound loud.

...

After making plans with Lyme, we decide that, to crack the Nut, the easiest way to do it was to go in through every entrance.

One soldier, by the name of Lucas, suggests an avalanche, but I quickly shut it down. A lot of people agree with Lucas and I argue with them. The compromise is that we would go along with the plan to storm the place and shoot everyone we see, but we would let them escape through one entrance, where we would be waiting.

I am not happy with the plan. Peeta doesn't back anyone, he stays silent and stares at the ground. 

I wonder if he's thinking about how badly he fucked up. He better prove to me that he won't do anything like that again, or I'll keep avoiding him. No matter how much I crave his kisses.

I wait at the exit of the mines, Haymitch telling me what to do through an earpiece. A train pulls in slowly, and I can see from here that it is packed with a lot of people. Still, there were much more in the mines. And we killed them.

As they step out, soldiers pull out their guns and order them to lay down on the ground. They do so. Except for one young man, who staggers up to me with a bullet hole in his leg.

I immediately feel sympathy for him, and run towards him, telling the rebels not to shoot anyone, while thinking that really, they're all just victims.

The man falls on his face, and I lean down to see if he's okay. But he brings himself back upon his knees and puts a gun to my throat.

I can hear Peeta and other rebels coming over to me, but I raise a hand, motioning for them to stop. Peeta is only a few feet behind me, but I am not going to worry about him right now.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't shoot you," the man says.

"I can't," I say, and it's true. I wait for him to pull the trigger, but it seems like he's too confused to do so. "I can't," I repeat. "That's the problem, isn't it? We invaded your mine and killed your workers. You burned my District to the ground. We've got every reason to kill each other. So do it. Make the Capitol happy. I'm done killing their slaves for them."

"I am not their slave," he mutters.

"I am. That's why I killed Cato... and he killed Thresh... and he killed Clove... and she tried to kill me. It just goes around and around, and who wins? Not us. Not the Districts. Always the Capitol. but I'm tired of being a piece in their games."

"Keep talking," Hayitch urges me.

"When we sent the soldiers in, I thought... they've done it again. Got me to kill you - the people in the Districts. But why did I do it? District Twelve and District Two have no fight except the one the Capitol gave us. And why are you fighting with the rebels on the rooftops? With Lyme, who was your victor? With people who were your neighbors, maybe even your family?"

"I don't know," the man says, relaxing his grip on the gun. 

I rise slowly, now talking to the people on the rooftops. "And you up there? I come from a mining town. Since when do miners condemn other miners to that kind of death, and then stand by to kill whoever manages to crawl from the rubble?"

"Who is the enemy?" I hear Haymitch whisper in my earpiece.

"These people are not your enemy!" I shout, addressing every single person in the square. The rebels are not your enemy! We all have one enemy, and it's the Capitol! This is our chance to put an end to their power, but we need every district person to do it! Please! Join us!"

I look at the camera and only have enough time to see someone their aim their gun at me before Peeta rushes in front of me and is shot on live television.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so something is definitely up with Gale. That much is obvious; he wasn't that OOC for nothing.
> 
> Do you think Peeta deserves worse than the treatment Katniss is giving him? Or should she stop punishing him? He took a bullet for Katniss, which is enough, right? Well, more than enough in my opinion.
> 
> (sorry. I'm bad at these note things because it doesn't feel like I'm talking to anybody.)


End file.
